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GRIEF AND BEREAVEMENT SUPPORT

There is no right way to feel or to ‘manage’ grief and loss in our lives. Through support, the impact of what has happened and the way we feel can be recognised and acknowledged, helping us to feel less alone in our grief.

Grief and bereavement support offered by The Angus Lawson Memorial Trust will be provided by Jenni Thomas OBE

I have been listening to and learning from grieving parents and children in my work for more than 45 years. My knowledge of grief and loss has come from them and has informed me in my role as a bereavement counsellor and as a trainer.

In 1994 I founded a national charity, the Child Bereavement Charity, in order to make this support and training more widely available in the UK. In 2000, I was the joint winner of the Nye Bevan Life Time Achievement award for my work as Paediatric and Maternity bereavement counsellor for the Buckinghamshire Hospitals NHS Trust. I received the honour of the OBE in 2002 in recognition for my work with the charity.

Under the auspices of both the NHS and the Child Bereavement Charity I have devised and run pioneering training programmes for a wide range of professional clinicians, caregivers, volunteers and others whose life brings them into contact with grieving families. I have been involved in writing publications and producing resources that accompany the training and support families in this field. My honorary doctorate from Buckinghamshire New University in 2007 was awarded in recognition of my contribution to bereavement education .I am a member of the Royal College of Nursing and have also been involved in working with the Dept of Health both as an adviser and trainer on bereavement issues, including the following films. If you would like some information on how to support your child when someone important in their life has died, please see these NHS links...

Parent Death Sibling Death

As Patron of Rosie Rainbow Charity I am involved in supporting bereaved parents when a baby or child dies.

It is a privilege and feels fitting now to be working with the Angus Lawson Memorial Trust; sadly many children who experience significant loss and grief in their lives are disadvantaged in so many ways.

SUPPORT FOR FAMILIES, CHILDREN AND YOUNG PEOPLE

Grief is not uniform; it is more a statement of how at any given time we may be coping and there is a very wide range of normal coping behaviour. My intention in supporting children and young people is to be sensitive to what they need and to trust that they will help me understand what is supportive for them at this time in their lives. Parents and those close to and responsible for children and young people have a huge task and responsibility in providing support and information at a time of loss and bereavement. My intention is always to support and help the adults involved, using the knowledge I have gained from the many bereaved children and young people I have met over the years.

The support I offer under the Angus Lawson Memorial Trust is available to you as a family from the charity and is specifically intended for families with children and young people who have experienced loss.

You can request support for your child before, during, or after the loss of a parent, a brother or sister; a grandparent, relative or friend.

The situation of loss may be anticipated such as when a parent is not expected to live and wants to communicate in an honest and helpful way with their child/children. It may be after an unexpected death, a sudden bereavement or a violent and traumatic death due to an accident or murder.

You may want to talk about how best to communicate with a child born after a death of a sibling.

What happens next

If you would like to speak to me and have access to an email, please contact me at griefsupport@almt.org

I will email you back as soon as possible and arrange to speak to you on the phone. We can then discuss what support you would find most helpful and the best way for this to be arranged.

If you need to speak to me urgently please leave a message on my mobile 07825350594

Ongoing support

Either a telephone support time could be booked on a (convenient) day or evening that would suit you or we can arrange to meet, possibly at your home or a mutually agreed place.

When the support is for a child or young person, I will be considering the child’s situation within the context of his or her family. Initially a meeting can be arranged with the child’s parent or prime carer in a place that is convenient for the family.

In my role with the Angus Lawson Memorial Trust my travel expenses will be funded within a 40 mile radius of Marlow in Buckinghamshire. When travelling further, we will need to ask you please to cover additional travelling expenses

Support Groups for Families

From time to time I will be running groups to support grieving families. Please contact me for further details. These groups will be held locally in South Buckinghamshire or within a reasonable travelling distance.

Peer support group - an opportunity for parents /children to share their experiences and offer mutual support.

A Young People’s Advisory group - held specifically where young people advise the charity about their needs in a loss or bereavement situation.

Bereavement skills workshop - a workshop designed for adults /parents /prime cares to look at how to best support children who are bereaved.

TRAINING AND SUPPORT

FOR PROFESSIONALS, CARERS AND VOLUNTEERS

Initial reactions to grief will vary – from hysteria to collapse or withdrawal. An environment that accepts all responses is helpful and providing such an environment can be very challenging to all who work with or support grieving families.

Those of us working with families, whatever our role, need to examine our own thoughts and feelings about grief and loss and be open to the effect our own personal experiences will have had on us. We need to be willing to look at the hurts and losses in our own lives in order to be able to be there in a supportive and congruent way for those we wish to support in their grief.

The very essence of our interactions with families is the therapeutic use of ourselves. All the workshops that I run for the Angus Lawson Memorial Trust will require those attending to understand this principle.

The varied groups who might wish to access this training are based in:

nursing, midwifery, medicine, care of the dying, the charitable and voluntary sectors, counselling and social work, teaching and education, emergency services, the police and other public service organizations, spiritual leaders, humanists and any others whose work involves supporting children.

The list below contains some examples of situations where you may find a workshop/training useful

Where a Parent is Dying or has Died - a family perspective
When a Brother or Sister Dies - surviving children
Traumatic Loss - impact on the children, young people

Working in Loss and Bereavement - approaching the family
Understanding your Feelings - supporting yourself
The Adolescent Child - responses to loss or death
Facilitating Groups - adults ,children and young people

Any of these topics may be addressed in a shorter 2 hour training session or as a full day or 2 day workshops to explore more fully specific aspects. They can either be held at your place of work, a venue in Buckinghamshire, or at an agreed alternative venue you can provide.

Specific training programmes and workshops around loss and grief can be designed to meet the needs of your group whether you require a day, a half day or an hour. Each session is tailored to your requirements and may, for example, be an hour’s session at a regular training event, conference, or public event.

The Angus Lawson Memorial Trust is kindly subsidising these training education workshops. For example the cost for up to 12 delegates would be approximately £300 for a day or £150 for a half day

If you would like to discuss any aspects of training, please email me at griefsupport@almt.org

USEFUL LINKS